I See You
by Maimat B
Summary: Episode tag S4E09 #SaveLucifer. Post Episode, After Lucifer regains his human form Chloe stays to offer him the comfort he needs.


**NOTE:** Thank you very much to Devi_the_Wynter_Wytch and Fleem for the beta-read and story help.

**Summary: **_Episode tag S4E09 #SaveLucifer. Post Episode, After Lucifer regains his human form Chloe stays to offer him the comfort he needs._

* * *

Lucifer stood gazing at the skin of his hands and fingers, turning them over, a muted smile on his face of pure relief and joy.

Chloe grinned back; she felt like she might cry. "You're okay," she whispered and stepped closer.

"Well, we did it! It looks like evil won't be released after all," Lucifer said triumphantly, a gleam of wonder and joy lighting up his eyes.

She tentatively reached out, fingers close to, but not daring to touch. "Lucifer… you're not. You're not evil. Even… like that." This time she did touch him, running her fingers along the smooth skin along the back of his hand. "Whatever you look like. It doesn't matter."

"It would be awkward getting a latte at the coffee shop looking like I did," he joked, deflecting as he so often did when things got too emotionally real for him to handle.

And Chloe laughed, the pent-up tension making the sound loud and harsh, and not what she'd intended. Tears came to her eyes just thinking of Lucifer in full Devil-skin.

"Detective?"

She shook her head, "Sorry, sorry. I'm just. Yeah." And she still had her fingertips pressed to his hand, neither of them daring to move...to break the fragile connection between them. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and stepped closer, strengthening their bond, tugging on him until he was close enough for her to wrap her arms around his back...his smooth, completely non-spiny back. "Lucifer, you're not evil. I never thought you were."

"Even though-"

"I was confused. I never believed you did the things Father Kinley said. We need to talk about that, but not right now. I know there's more to you than what people say. And whatever else you've done, in the past or wherever, it doesn't define who you are."

He didn't return the hug. "That's just it, Detective, I don't know who I am."

"Maybe that doesn't matter." At Lucifer's confused frown, Chloe stepped back and resumed her grip on his wrist. "Maybe it only matters … who you want to be," Chloe affirmed in a soft whisper as she let him go and sat on the edge of his bed, urging Lucifer to sit at her side with a pat to the bedspread next to her. "What you said before- that you don't like how I make you feel. I never got to ask you about that. What did you mean?"

He distanced himself by drawing one leg up on the bed and turning to face her. "I will never live up to what you think I can be."

Chloe shook her head. "No, I don't believe that. I don't want you to be someone you aren't."

"I am a monster."

"Show me."

"Didn't you get enough of an eyeful?"

She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Can you choose what you look like? Is it- now that you have your...?" she trailed off uncertainly. She wasn't sure how to describe it to him. "Now that you look like _you_ again. Can you switch, or is there a chance it will get stuck?"

He half-smiled, caught between amusement and relief at her tenuous acceptance. "You mean, if I cross my eyes too much, will they stay like that?"

She nearly laughed. "Right. I shouldn't be asking you so soon after-"

He stood up and stepped away from her. His skin transformed into something else. Not the spines from earlier, but the red scarred skin she'd seen in the loft after he killed Cain. Rather than turn away, she stood to face him.

Chloe licked her lips and took a deep breath. "Does it hurt?"

"No."

"Can I- touch you? What does it feel like?"

He stayed very still as she reached out. She ran her finger along his hand again, along his wrist, intimately pressing sensitive fingertips up his bare arm. This time instead of the smooth flawless skin, it was bumpy, rough, gouged. "Are these scars?"

"Yes."

She reached up and drew a finger along the edge of the deep furrow on the side of his head. "Scars from- what?"

He stepped away again. "My rebellion. The Fall."

"God did this to you?"

He shook his head, no. "I think- I used to think so. Now, I don't know. I think I might have done it to myself."

"How? I don't understand."

"This was how I looked when I landed in Hell. Regular wounds heal and disappear," he held up his hand where he had been shot clean through. "Not a scratch. I think my brother may have, actually, been right," Lucifer said with a soft, bitter snort. "I think we, my siblings and I, reflect our own existence."

She stepped closer, looking at his face, his eyes. "Do you feel different like this? Like- do you feel like you're not you?"

He frowned. "I don't understand."

"Evil being released. Did you- does looking like this make you want to do things that are-"

"Evil?" he shook his head, no. "No. Don't be frightened. I'm still me."

Chloe nodded. She reached out again, this time placing her hand on his chest. "You are."

He blinked.

She hugged him close, her heart pounding at the feel of the rough, scarred skin, but not afraid, not disgusted. He didn't reciprocate, not for at least a minute, and then his arms came around her, gently, barely touching, and his head tilted down close to hers. She could feel the tension in him...a brief tremor.

She held him tighter, and this time she felt wrapped in his embrace. This time she didn't let go, not until he let go first. And when they parted, he was himself again, flawless skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes.

"I see you," she said, wrapping her fingers around his, and leading him back to the bed. She gently pulled him down and stretched out at his side. And she stayed that way, holding him close, for the rest of the night.


End file.
